Disclaimer: this piece has nothing to do with computers; I just want to be clear on that. Clickability is actually a stand in word here because some folks may be deterred if they only read the title of what I’m trying to convey. The phrase I truly use is Limited Fuckability. Allow me to explain – when a person or circumstance has negative energy, drama, or disappointment tied to it, I put those people and things on my Limited Fuckability list.
Take family for example. Some folks abide by the “but they’re family” policy whenever one of the members engages in something trifling. So instead of casting them out or reprimanding them depending on how severe the injury, they will often utilize this evasive thinking and give the member a pass despite their foolishness (ahem, enabling at its finest). I, however, simply move that individual to the Limited Fuckability list.
Now this may sound harsh at first glance, but too bad. You can certainly add me to your very own Limited Fuckability list if you find yourself that bothered by it. Life is short, and I choose to surround myself with people and situations that serve me, mutually of course. Someone borrowing money and not repaying it is not something that adds value to my life. Obviously, it does the exact opposite. I’m not saying that I’m cutting that person off permanently (I might, again – it depends on the gravity of the situation), but if it’s something that is relatively small in the grand scheme of things, maybe I’ll just steer clear of that person when it comes to that particular subject. My energy, time, and resources are much too precious to be stricken by someone else’s fuckery.
A prime example of this is a friend that whenever you express your dreams and aspirations regarding your career, they have something negative to say…...”Nobody will hire you for that, you need to stick to what you know, that’s not going to happen for you, etc…..” Maybe this same person is a great resource when it comes to having a workout accountability partner though. (Side note: stay tuned for an upcoming post about your starting 5 that dives MUCH deeper into this). For someone like this, they provide value in one arena but deject in another. Maybe it’s hard to find someone to keep you accountable in that capacity, so you keep them around and tolerate it, but it does get under your skin when they have those negative things to say about another important aspect of your life. For this person, I would absolutely employ their motivation in my fitness journey, but the topic of my career would be off the table. It is that simple.
I’m going to let you all in on a secret – IT IS OK TO DEMOTE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE! I’ll prove it. Think of this in terms of how a business functions: new team members get added for one of two reasons usually – growth (including promotions) and turnover. As you grow and advance as a person, it is common that you gain new circles of friends; that’s just the nature of going into something new. Your crowd may change and that’s OK. Similarly, it is absolutely expected that you go through some turnover as well. As you evolve and your ideals change, those that were once in alignment with your old values may not fit into your new vibe. Now think of YOURSELF as a business. New people get promotions as the relationship grows and the participants get closer. On the flip side, some of the older gang will be booted because they don’t mesh with the new company culture. That being said, you are not required to keep the same people around JUST because of their tenure. Can I get an amen?!
The bottom line is this – relationships go through seasons and even permanent changes just as businesses go through periods of hiring and firing based on their progressive needs. Reflecting on the people that you interact with, do you have some people that need to be demoted and added to the Limited Fuckability list?